Right. Do I wear black trousers or jeans. Do I wear my black posh coat that makes me look like a granny, my tweedy bit less-posh jacket that my daughter likes and has borrowed (so must be just a teeny bit funky), my faithful old parka or my olive green suede jacket. I could wear a skirt, though. My long black one? Oh no! Can’t wear a skirt because would have to wear long black boots. Definitely not. Wore them yesterday and they absolutely KILLED my feet. Do I wear a jumper or dressy-up top? Or perhaps that new top I bought in the sales – mind you it might hang below my tweedy bit less-posh jacket. Will have to wear old faithful shoes – will have to polish them before Wednesday because they’re a bit muddy – can’t risk my feet hurting – might have to walk a bit. How far is it from St Pancras to Euston? Should I risk walking and getting lost or get the tube?
Oh – bloody hell. Will have to go shopping tomorrow lunchtime. Haven’t got a single thing to wear!
Dare I park in the Council car park and walk to the station? Someone might see me. I might have to talk to someone who says “where are you going?” What will I say? Could park in the station car park but that will cost a fiver for the day when I could park at work for nothing. Oh no! What if I see someone I know on the train or at the station!
Ohmigod! I’m going to London. On my own, to meet people I’ve never met before. What if Kev and Mercedes forget me and leave me at Euston?
Lane – your daughter is right! She’s a good sensible girl. I’m putting my photo back up on the blog for a day because I need people to know I’m not really a bloke called Arthur with a pierced whatsit and rude tattoos. I’ll put up a nice mumsy/granny one this time so that Lane’s daughter won’t worry.
Must remember to charge phone. Download Christmas pics off camera. Don’t forget camera. Don’t forget phone. Take some tissues in case get overcome with emotion and snivel. Remember comb so don’t look like Ken Dodd when meet Kev and Mercedes.
Do I just hold out my hand and say “how nice to finally meet you.” Really formal. No. Perhaps not. Will I make a prat of myself? Just say “Hello?” Try not to talk with a ‘Ketrin’ accent.
Must remember to tell someone not to let me have more than four alcoholic drinks UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Four is absolute limit or else will act really silly and do things like shutting my eyes so no-one can hear what I’m saying. Or like on New Year’s Eve 1999 when tried to snog son-in-law for saving husband’s life when a big mega firework hit the tree!