I think I’ve discovered the reason why writers (well, me anyway) will do anything rather than actually write when they set aside alloted times. For me it’s early mornings.
I never used to suffer from this affliction until just recently, because if I didn’t feel like writing – I simply didn’t write.
Now, with deadlines looming and everything being so intense, I’m having to discipline myself, and it’s hard not to blog or creep onto Facebook. It takes an enormous amount of self-control.
My discovery is that writing invokes extremes of emotion and for me, at least, it’s against my nature to be on a high one minute and then tearing my hair out in despair the next. The conception of an idea is intensely private, but if, like all of us, we want to be published, the outcome is about the most public thing you’ll ever do in your life.
The bit in between is like being pulled in two directions, and the emotions are the same – either a tortuous lack of self-confidence, which isn’t helped at all by reading someone else’s brilliant display of literary talent, or soaring to that high place when you have a particularly unique idea that you just have to get down on paper, and then, when it’s written, you feel euphoric and the feeling is better than anything.
It’s being so absent from what is going on around you that you don’t even hear when someone mentions your name. You are so deep within your own imagination that you really are in a different place mentally. Then – wham – the phone rings and it startles you so much that you actually jump. It’s like blinking and finding yourself on the other side of the world.
Does anyone else have any ideas on this?